Thoughts...

**Beware: Any posts labeled thoughts could cause tears...

So far this morning, I have administered 8 different kinds of medication, made breakfast, dealt with 5 fits from 3 different children, made 5 phone calls, and so much more craziness and its only 9:45 am...

If only Jay and Em could give some of their seemingly never ending energy to Chan. Sweet little Chan hasn't wanted to get out of bed yet today, but I can't blame him since his siblings are going a little crazy!

Last night I found myself going back to how it feels with a newborn in the house. Not wanting to let Chan out of my sight for fear of something happening to him, wanting to go in and check on him every 5 minutes to make sure he is still breathing, just wanting to hold him all night so I know that he was fine. As much as I thought about checking on him every two seconds I stopped myself from doing it - knowing it would be worse for both of us if I did. He needs his sleep as much as I need mine. I am sure that as time goes on I will stop feeling this way, just as I did with each of my babies as they were newborns.

I know that Jay and Em are throwing fits because their lives have been turned upside down just like the rest of our lives. I know that with time things will heal and get easier as it gets more routine. Each day, each moment we are taking baby steps to make it to the end, each and every accomplishment is something to praise, each morning is a new morning with new challenges. We will get through this - we will be stronger, our faith and testimony will grow and we will be a much happier, much better family in a couple years.

- Alyssa