Happiness and Laughter

I started writing this post and never posted it.  Today I read a book to Chan that we were given from Badger Childhood Cancer Network that reminded me of the post.  First I will tell you about the book and some of my favorite quotes from it, then you can read what I wrote a few weeks ago. 

This book was written by a young man who had been diagnosed with Hodgkins disease.  He actually started this book before he found out he had cancer when he walked into a classroom happy and joking and found everyone around him in a very bad mood.  He started drawing and the jester came to life.  The basis of the book is that "The Jester has lost his jingle" and was banned from the Kings castle.  He then travels along to find out where all the laughter has gone.  The jester asks a homeless man and the homeless man says something along the lines of, why would I laugh when I have no job and no money, nothing about that is funny.  The Jester asks a few more people and responses are quite similar, "The world is not a funny place.  It's filled with pain and tears".  Jesters friend Pharley tells him not to believe them they must be wrong, we can find laughter somewhere.  They then walk into a hospital and find a little girl lying in bed with a bandage on her head.  The Jester asks her where her laughter went and the girl replies, I have a tumor, why would I have a sense of humor when all I feel like doing is crying.  This is what the Jester replies,

"Sometimes I feel like crying too,'
the jester whispered in her ear.
'But instead of letting teardrops fall,
I make them disappear.

Whenever I feel like crying,
I smile hard instead!
I turn my sadness upside down
and stand it on its head!

When I get sad or lonesome,
or when I get depressed,
that's when I sing my loudest
and dance my very best!"

Then he goes to the King and lets him know that he found where laughter has been hiding.  Its hiding in each of us and its up to us to let it out.  And the end of the story says,
"So when you're feeling lonely or sad or bad or blue remember where the laughter's hiding...its hiding inside of you!"

I love this story!! I love how the jester helps those who are struggling find laughter and happiness.  Everyone needs it in their lives no matter what they are going through.  Here is what I wrote along these lines a couple weeks ago...

I often hear from people that Kindt and I seem to be handling things well. When I was a teenager I remember my mom always telling me that "I am in charge of my own happiness". This has stuck with me throughout my life. No matter what comes, no matter what happens, I am ultimately in charge of how I respond and how I feel. I have been on both sides of the track - choosing to be bitter and resentful for circumstances beyond my control and I found that it didn't get me where I wanted to be. Because of past circumstances, experiences and trials I choose to be happy, I choose to be positive. I can't change that my son has cancer, I can't magically make him better but I can show my son happiness, I can teach him and my other children what my mom taught me. I don't want my children to remember mommy being upset and bitter during this time, I want them to remember how happy we were as family even in the face of adversity.

-----Religious Content Disclaimer-----

I also realize that a lot of my perspective comes from my faith in a higher power, namely Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father, and from what I've been taught in church my whole life (for those who aren't aware we are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints). I believe that Christ suffered not only for our sins, but also to be able to know how to empathize with and comfort us as we battle our sons cancer.  He understands my thoughts and pains and knowing this comforts me through this difficult trial in our life. I am grateful for a Father in Heaven who listens to prayers and works miracles in my life and in the life of my family.

I know that because of each of your prayers miracles have happened, and will continue to happen. Each of you has already been a miracle in my life for your love and support, and I am so grateful for such an amazing support system. Thank you!!