Relief and Joy

Little Brother was born on August 23rd. 

Channing was sooo excited when he saw baby brother, he looked at him in awe and said over and over "Is that my baby brother??".  He was also excited that someone else was in a hospital bed, and he got to see the nurses do my vitals.  Jakob was excited but a little indifferent.  And Ema just wanted to be in baby brothers face :) 

After baby brother was born I felt this huge burden lifted off of my shoulders.  A new chapter in our lives was opening, and I was so ready for it.  During the last 5 months since Channing's diagnosis, I lived in constant stress.  Some days it was really bad, some days barely noticeable but it was always there at the back of my mind stressing me out and causing me worry.  I was afraid I would have the baby early, I was afraid something was going to be wrong with the baby, I was afraid Channing would be in the hospital when the baby was born.  Some days I would barely do anything for fear of causing myself to go into labor.  All these nagging fears and thoughts at the back of my mind.  Now, I get to just be happy.  I get to just hold my sweet baby boy and not worry about Channing being in the hospital.  Such an amazing feeling of relief and joy.  There is nothing better then knowing we are moving on into a new chapter of life.  Channing is in Maintenance (3rd and final phase of treatment), Jakob and Channing start half day 4K, Ema gets to learn that she is not the baby anymore and we have a new baby to snuggle.  I am not in denial that things will be hard with a new baby, but we are ready for this new adventure and chapter in our lives!!

Last inpatient finished!!

Channing is now home from his last scheduled inpatient!!!  It is very exciting for our family.  It is always fun when Channing come home because he and Jakob have so much fun catching up and playing together :)  They are so fun to watch as they get reunited. 

We will now be moving into the last phase of treatment called Maintenance.  It is his last and final phase which will last 2 years.  It is kind of a weird schedule but I will try to explain it.  Channing will go in on Aug 31st for his first treatment of Maintenance (kind of a bummer because he starts school the next day and will be all 'drugged' up, but hopefully it will be ok).  He will get VinCristine, an spinal Methotrexate (sedation, with a spinal tap to give the drug), and he will start the steroids again.  Then he goes back in a week later and will stop the steroids and will get VinCristine.  Then he is off for about 2 1/2 months (with 2 local blood draws) and then goes in for a spinal Methotrexate (with sedation).  Then he is off for about a month and then starts the whole process over again.  Confusing, yes, but very exciting to have a nice long break during the treatments.

This has been perfect timing.  Channing finished his last inpatient, and his baby brother has yet to come (6 days overdue now), and he will start school and Maintenance at the same time.  We are excited for these new things to happen!!

Inpatient Postponed...

Sadly, Channing's last inpatient is being postponed.  Channing got the hand, foot, and mouth disease that Jakob had last week.  It is so mild that if you didn't know what you were looking for you wouldn't notice the 3 red dots on his hands, and the 5 on his feet.  Channing didn't have a fever with it (which normally a fever is very common for multiple days).  But, because it is a virus and because the Methotrexate (the chemo Channing gets at inpatient) will target 'weak' areas the doctors are concerned that it could potentially cause Channing more harm.  So, they made the decision that Channing can't have his last inpatient until every last bump is gone.  We rescheduled for a week from tomorrow. 

I was pretty devastated at first, and was at least able to hold in my emotions until after I got off the phone with the nurse practitioner.  To be honest, I cried for the next few hours off and on.  Just frustration, sadness, annoyance, etc.  And it doesn't help that I am 9 months pregnant so my emotions are completely out of whack.  I just keep telling myself that its probably for the best, and that it will all work out.  Now, I get to be excited and hopeful about having this baby in the next week, instead of worried that the baby will come while I am at the hospital with Channing.  It seems so unfair that I have to stress about when this baby will come instead of letting the baby come when he is ready.  Now, I get to be hopeful that I have this baby sooner rather then later.  Really, I just want to be done with this whole situation and have my son and my baby (and all of my family) together without the stress of cancer.  Ah, wishful thinking...

Update

I am feeling much better which is nice, I still have a cough, but its not bad.  Jakob is acting like his crazy normal 4 yr old self, which he pretty much has the whole time he has been sick.  And so far (fingers crossed) no one else is showing any symptoms of anything.  I am assuming that has to do with our frequent sanitizing of surfaces (my house has never been this 'germ free'), and the hourly hand washing/ hand sanitizing.  All I do is randomly yell out "hand sanitize" and all the kids stop what they are doing and run over and put some antibacterial on their hands and rub it in.  Ema (the 2 yr old) is pretty proficient at it, though she needs help pushing the lever down.  I have also been checking temperatures randomly throughout the day because that's what Jakob started out with.   My kids may be germaphobes in the future, but its helping us in the now :)  I have always been a bit overboard when it comes to germs but this week has probably been a lot overboard.  At least I can say I did what I could to keep the kids healthy, and if Channing gets sick, he gets sick and we deal with it.  Once we are through the next few weeks I think we will go outside and play in the mud and let the kids get as dirty as they want!

I am actually really enjoying how clean my house is, and I think the kids are too.  They seem to love running through the house without the fear of stepping on something or tripping over something.  It hasn't been that bad since I have been keeping up on it daily instead of letting it go a day or two (or 3) and it taking forever to clean and it being overwhelming.  I think I have gotten into the habit now of just constantly picking up and the kids have been too, which is a big help.  And will be an even bigger help once this baby is born. 

One week exactly until baby boy is due!!!  I am getting really excited about it all.  Everything is ready to go and I just keep thinking of little things that I can do to keep getting ready.  I think this is also what is driving my clean house, I don't want it to be a complete disaster when we have to head out to the hospital.  Now, if only we had ANY idea of this child's name.  The few that I like, Kindt doesn't and the few that Kindt likes, I don't.  Hopefully once we meet the little guy face to face, we will be able to choose a name. 

I am excited about the big milestones in the next week or so-  Channing is done with his scheduled inpatients and moves into the last phase of cancer treatment, we are adding a new baby to the mix, and the boys will be starting 4K half-day (which they are ridiculously excited about :)!! 

Life is good!!

Sickness

Sadly, I am sick.  Jakob is also sick.  This worries me a lot since Channing's inpatient is scheduled for one week from today.  If he gets sick then he will get pushed back, which means I will be having a baby for sure while Channing is in the hospital.  Right now I am just praying that Channing doesn't get sick.  I am doing everything I can to keep every one's hands clean but there is only so much you can do.  I realize I have no control over if Channing gets sick but it may just break me if he does.  Things have been going so well, and we have been so blessed so I really feel I have no right to complain about the possibility of Channing getting sick... 

Just send prayers our way that Channing won't get sick, or that if he does I won't completely loose my mind ;)  I know that things will work out, they always do, even when it isn't the way we want or intend them to.  I am trying to rely on faith and hoping that we can make to Chans last inpatient with no problems, then have this sweet baby and move on from all of this crazy baby/Channing hospital stress into all the other stresses of life ;)